A Little Introduction

I’ve been thinking of writing about my experiences of autism for some time. Up until now I haven’t progressed any further than lots and lots of post it notes and journals filled with disconnected thoughts and reflections!!! This is mostly, because I’ve been kind of afraid to start writing. Due to my usual autistic intensity I have been afraid that once I start writing it will become all consuming … autistic hyper-focus will set in and , ( just like my autistic son and his favourite video game … or Rubiks Cube record breaking attempts ), it will be almost impossible to drag me away!

This can’t happen! I have a full time job, plus two children, a partner, a very energetic dog, two guinea pigs, a cat and two Giant African land snails to take care of! I also need to keep my commitment to self- care; exercise, attend my meditation group and my Autistic Women’s support group, and continue my studies in life coaching and holistic healing…….All of which are very important to me as an autistic person with chronic autoimmune conditions who is trying to sustain good #mental health!!! BUT at the same time the writing … well that HAS to happen too!! I will not be able to rest until I have exorcised from my mind the thoughts and experiences I need to share and put them down where they can be safely captured and held on paper or screen.

So I decided that now is the time to pursue my call to write, on the condition that I use all the mindfulness, self- regulating and time – management techniques I have learned to help me achieve this in some kind of balanced way!

I’ve never written a blog before and am not sure where to begin. I anticipate that some posts will be purely my own personal reflections, some will be educational and informative; backed up by relevant research and references and some will be records of my observations and experiences.

I am inspired to write with some urgency now; partly because the #Spectrum 10k study* has sparked a debate in autistic and medicine communities about whether or not a ‘ #cure’ for autism should be developed. The debates around that on social media have highlighted for me how little the general population have yet to understand about autism and what it means to be autistic.

Also it has been just over two years since I was diagnosed ; the first year was marked by significant loss and trauma , (due to various personal circumstances), and my need to focus entirely on healing and recovery; the second year Covid happened which interrupted … well many things ! So, it is only now that I have really had the opportunity to reflect on my journey and experience as a late diagnosed autistic woman and truly process all the emotions, feedback, discussions, interactions , conflicts, challenges, books , videos, conferences etc that I encountered and continue to encounter along my way.

I have been subjected to rejection, subtle discrimination largely due to others’ fears and misunderstandings.

Rejection that stems from misunderstanding is hurtful. I always feel that if somebody wants to reject who I truly am, that’s up to them. Not everybody is everybody’s cup of tea right?! However, for autistic people, others frequently misinterpret everything about us… our behaviour, our tone of voice , our motivation.. Chronic misunderstandings lead to situations where we find ourselves being rejected based on who we’re ‘ not’ ! This leads to the feelings of despair , confusion, hopelessness and heartbreak that characterise the lives and relationships of virtually every autistic person I have met. I know that there are others who have found themselves feeling hurt for similar reasons that I have felt hurt myself.

I would like to encourage autistic people and their families to share their stories and experiences too; To feel valued and not isolated… I hope that by sharing my story, others will fell motivated to find their voice; speak their truth… and although there will always be people who do not care to listen, we will hear eachother, support eachother and help eachother to learn and thrive regardless.